Thursday, February 28

The Host with the Most

I guess this is another of those “So You Want to be a News Director?” posts.

If memory serves, it was on an Ash Wednesday some years ago. A photographer was sent out to a local church to get the obligatory footage for the obligatory story on the beginning of the Lenten season. Every station in the country had roughly the same footage that night: I guess you could say we're all religious about covering religious observances.

All was going well until we came out of the footage to a two-shot of our anchor team.

SHE: You know what I really like?

HE: No.

SHE: I just love the “host:” the communion wafers. They’re delicious. If you’d put them in a cellophane bag I could eat a whole bag every night while watching TV. They’re terrific!

And your humble news director, realizing that he had about thirty seconds before the phone started ringing and he had his own personal epiphany, his own “Come to Jesus” moment, was left to mutter, “Bless me Father, for my anchor is an idiot.” I probably should have been grateful she didn't mention chip dip. Or salsa! Omigod, it's too disgusting to even contemplate dipping the host into salsa!

Remember what they used to say about foxholes? I’m convinced there are no atheists in news director’s offices, either.